MOVIE REVIEW: LOGAN (2017)

From IMDB:

Storyline

In the near future, a weary Logan cares for an ailing Professor X in a hide out on the Mexican border. But Logan's attempts to hide from the world and his legacy are up-ended when a young mutant arrives, being pursued by dark forces.

73 Metascore From metacritic.com

Reviews 27 user | 148 critic

From Rotten Tomatoes:

MOVIE INFO

It's 2029. Mutants are gone--or very nearly so. An isolated, despondent Logan is drinking his days away in a hideout on a remote stretch of the Mexican border, picking up petty cash as a driver for hire. His companions in exile are the outcast Caliban and an ailing Professor X, whose singular mind is plagued by worsening seizures. But Logan's attempts to hide from the world and his legacy abruptly end when a mysterious woman appears with an urgent request--that Logan shepherd an extraordinary young girl to safety. Soon, the claws come out as Logan must face off against dark forces and a villain from his own past on a live-or-die mission, one that will set the time-worn warrior on a path toward fulfilling his destiny.

Rating: R (for strong brutal violence and language throughout, and for brief nudity)

Genre: Action & Adventure, Drama, Science Fiction & Fantasy

Directed By: James Mangold

Written By: James Mangold, Scott Frank, Michael Green

In Theaters: Mar 3, 2017 Wide

Runtime: 135 minutes

Studio: 20th Century Fox

TOMATOMETER 93%

Average Rating: 8/10

Reviews Counted: 100

Fresh: 93

Rotten: 7

Critics Consensus: Hugh Jackman makes the most of his final outing as Wolverine with a gritty, nuanced performance in a violent but surprisingly thoughtful superhero action film that defies genre conventions.

WANT TO SEE 99% want to see

User Ratings: 33,326

This is Old Man Logan. He's a chauffeur trying to make enough to buy a boat... ©20th Century Fox

This is not the Wolverine you know...

Okay, at least not based on the Wolverine you've seen in the previous X-Men movies at least. So, Logan, the last and final movie that Hugh Jackman will play Wolverine. This news has disappointed a lot of people and that's quite understandable. Jackman's Wolverine is one of those rare moments when an actor perfectly cast in a role. The first time anyone saw Mr. Jackman as Wolverine that was the moment the standard for Wolverine in a movie was set. Mr. Jackman is the only constant and the only good thing in every X-Men movie ever made. The only other good things are Patrick Stewart and Ian Mckellen, and maybe Halle Berry but they weren't in every X-Men movie. Wolverine has been in most of them if not all including the reboots that introduced us to the younger versions of the X-Men that we are familiar with. 

And this is Old Man Xavier. His mind isn't what it used to be. Something bad happened and he hasn't been the same...  ©20th Century Fox

So  since you already know that this is the last time you'll see Wolverine you probably also know that the story takes place sometime in the future and that Logan is an old man and that his only other companion is an even older Prof. Xavier. They are living in hiding, They are possibly the last of the X-men. The last mutants. Until one day when a little girl comes into their lives and they discover that she is very much like Logan. 

You've seen the trailers, right? So you know what she hand in her hands before this...  ©20th Century Fox

So here's what I like...

• The story. Just so different that what we've been given from the X-Men franchise, even when compared to The Wolverine (2013) movie that was also directed by James Mangold. What was explored in that movie is taken even further and in a more personal and darker direction. In this movie you really get to know who Logan is and what a lifetime of being a mutant and having to fight because of it has done to him. And you also get to see a different side of Prof. Xavier too. A more human side and a very frail side. And to give you an example of how different this movie is to every other X-Men movie is, the first words you hear Logan say is, F*ck. 
• The cast. Totally amazing. We're so used to seeing and expecting Wolverine and Prof Xavier a certain way that seeing them the way they are in this one is somewhat jarring but a welcome one. We finally get to see the human side, the real world side of them and how Hugh Jackman and Patrick Stewart show us who these characters are after a lifetime of fighting and finally losing is is just amazing. You will be moved. And Dafne Keen who plays Laura or X-23 is just as amazing. She doesn't say much but she says volumes.
• The visuals. It looks completely different not only from all the other X-Men movies but even when compared to The Wolverine. It looks like an indie drama. It's beautifully done. As is the action sequences. There's little special effects in this one but that's primarily because there aren't that many mutants with special abilities but you don't miss it. 

Those claws don't belong to Laura...  ©20th Century Fox

This was such an amazing film and so unlike all the other X-Men films, in fact when compared to other Marvel or even DC superhero films. It's the first time where you see a character especially a superhero character look so different from what you know them to be. A more human side. This movie is essentially a drama with a familiar X-Men in it. And it's good. I'm hoping that this is the beginning of a trend in a way. I'm giving Logan a solid 4.3 out of 5.

Check out the final trailer below. 

A GREAT BIG THANKS TO KLIPS.MY AND 20th CENTURY FOX MALAYSIA FOR THE PREVIEW PASSES! 

QUICK REVIEW: HACKSAW RIDGE (2016)

From IMDB:

Storyline

The true story of Desmond Doss, the conscientious objector who, at the Battle of Okinawa, won the Medal of Honor for his incredible bravery and regard for his fellow soldiers. We see his upbringing and how this shaped his views, especially his religious view and anti-killing stance. We see Doss's trials and tribulations after enlisting in the US Army and trying to become a medic. Finally, we see the hell on Earth that was Hacksaw Ridge.

71 Metascore From metacritic.com

Reviews 425 user | 390 critic

From Rotten Tomatoes:

MOVIE INFO

HACKSAW RIDGE is the extraordinary true story of Desmond Doss [Andrew Garfield] who, in Okinawa during the bloodiest battle of WWII, saved 75 men without firing or carrying a gun. He was the only American soldier in WWII to fight on the front lines without a weapon, as he believed that while the war was justified, killing was nevertheless wrong. As an army medic, he single-handedly evacuated the wounded from behind enemy lines, braved fire while tending to soldiers and was wounded by a grenade and hit by snipers. Doss was the first conscientious objector to ever earn the Congressional Medal of Honor.

Rating: R (for intense prolonged realistically graphic sequences of war violence including grisly bloody images)

Genre: Action & Adventure, Drama

Directed By: Mel Gibson

Written By: Robert Schenkkan, Andrew Knight

In Theaters: Nov 4, 2016 Wide

On DVD: Feb 21, 2017

Box Office: $66,935,525.00

Runtime: 139 minutes

Studio: Summit Entertainment

TOMATOMETER 86%

Average Rating: 7.2/10

Reviews Counted: 222

Fresh: 192

Rotten: 30

Critics Consensus: Hacksaw Ridge uses a real-life pacifist's legacy to lay the groundwork for a gripping wartime tribute to faith, valor, and the courage of remaining true to one's convictions.

AUDIENCE SCORE 92% liked it

Average Rating: 4.4/5

User Ratings: 45,938

Man wanted to be a doctor and help people so bad he went to war for it... ©Summit Entertainment

Basically this decades' Saving Private Ryan...

Here's another movie that's been out months and one that I also saw a while ago but like the LEGO Batman movie review I just posted up, I'm just getting round to putting a review about it. Again, you've probably already seen and heard everything about it and maybe even saw when it won 2 Oscars recently. 

This man is a literal real-life superhero...©Summit Entertainment 

Anyway, here's what I like about it...

• The story. An amazing story. An although it isn't exactly the way it actually happened how it's laid out for you is beautiful. You get who Desmond Doss is. You get his motivations. And you admire his determination. Oh, and if you want to see how the movie and the real story differs you can either read about Desmond Doss on the wikipedia page about him or about the Battle of Okinawa which is where the movie takes place. You can also go to HistoryVsHollywood.com and read about how it compares according to them. 
• The cast. All of them do a heck of a good job, especially Andrew Garfield. The only person that I just had a hard time believing was Vince Vaughn, just hard to believe his character as the drill sergeant.
• The action. When it gets going it is incredible, incredible visually. The realism, the gore and violence is unlike any other movie that I can remember but it doesn't take away from the core of the story. If anything it makes what Desmond has to go through and his determination to stick to his principles even more incredible.
• The visuals. As I mentioned before it is gory and violent and incredibly realistic. The camera work throughout all this is just brilliant. 
• 
  

When you don't believe in violence and won't carry a gun but the other men won't go into battle without you... ©Summit Entertainment

Overall, Hacksaw Ridge is one of those movies that will probably be talked about for awhile. It'll definitely rekindle interest in what happened during the pacific theatre of World War II and in who Desmond Doss is. I wrote in the title that Hacksaw Ridge is this decades Saving Private Ryan but there's a difference, Saving Private Ryan was partly based on a true story but in the real story there wasn't a band of men sent to save him, what happened instead was that the last surviving brother was informed that all of his brothers had been killed in the war and that the army was sending him home. Hacksaw Ridge on the other hand aside from certain details omitted or changed to suit the telling of the story in film it's basically all there, or at least the key parts of it. 

Regardless of what cinematic and story-telling license the writers took to make it fit into the film medium it's still a very good story and an amazing one. I'm giving it a solid 4.5 out of 5.

Here's a trailer for Hacksaw Ridge. 

QUICK REVIEW: THE LEGO BATMAN MOVIE (2017)

From IMDB:

Storyline

There are big changes brewing in Gotham City, and if he wants to save the city from The Joker's hostile takeover, Batman may have to drop the lone vigilante thing, try to work with others and maybe, just maybe, learn to lighten up.

75 Metascore From metacritic.com

Reviews 137 user | 272 critic

From Rotten Tomatoes:

MOVIE INFO

In the irreverent spirit of fun that made "The LEGO (R) Movie" a worldwide phenomenon, the self-described leading man of that ensemble - LEGO Batman - stars in his own big-screen adventure: "The LEGO (R) Batman Movie." But there are big changes brewing in Gotham, and if he wants to save the city from The Joker's hostile takeover, Batman may have to drop the lone vigilante thing, try to work with others and maybe, just maybe, learn to lighten up.

Rating: PG (for rude humor and some action)

Genre: Action & Adventure, Animation, Comedy, Kids & Family

Directed By: Chris McKay

Written By: Seth Grahame-Smith, Chris McKenna, Erik Sommers, Jared Stern, John Whittington

In Theaters: Feb 10, 2017 Wide

Box Office: $133,214,675.00

Runtime: 90 minutes

Studio: Warner Bros. Pictures

TOMATOMETER 91%

Average Rating: 7.5/10

Reviews Counted: 212

Fresh: 193

Rotten: 19

Critics Consensus: The Lego Batman Movie continues its block-buster franchise's winning streak with another round of dizzyingly funny -- and beautifully animated -- family-friendly mayhem.

AUDIENCE SCORE 84% liked it

Average Rating: 4/5

User Ratings: 29,283

This is the first Batman movie that has bothered to explain why Robin is dressed the way he is... ©Warner Bros. Pictures

It's a LEGO movie, it's a BATMAN movie...

I know this movie came out a long time ago and the truth is I saw it a long time ago too, saw it the week it opened actually but I'm only getting to blog about it now. By now you've probably already seen it, know what it's all about and also know that it went over really well, so now I'll share with you my two cents about it. 

And finally we know why Batman is always on his own... ©Warner Bros. Pictures

• The story, I like it. Struck a nice balance between what a LEGO movie should be and what a Batman movie should be. 
• The animation. It's not bad. It doesn't seem as polished as the first LEGO movie but it isn't noticeable.
• The cast. On this one, Will Arnett really does steal the show but he's beautifully supported by the rest.
• The pace. Directed by Chris McKay who also worked on Robot Chicken it is relentless just like the TV show that he worked on.
• Loved all the cameos, easter eggs and references to other Batman movies, etc. 

All in all, I enjoyed it just like a lot of people out there. I'm giving it a solid 3.7 out of 5.

Here's the final trailer just for fun.

QUICK REVIEW: ARRIVAL (2016)

From IMDB:

When mysterious spacecraft touch down across the globe, an elite team - led by expert linguist Louise Banks - is brought together to investigate. As mankind teeters on the verge of global war, Banks and the team race against time for answers - and to find them, she will take a chance that could threaten her life, and quite possibly humanity.

81 Metascore From metacritic.com

Reviews 699 user | 511 critic

From Rotten Tomatoes:

When mysterious spacecraft touch down across the globe, an elite team--lead by expert linguist Louise Banks (Amy Adams)--are brought together to investigate. As mankind teeters on the verge of global war, Banks and the team race against time for answers--and to find them, she will take a chance that could threaten her life, and quite possibly humanity.

Rating: PG-13 (for brief strong language)

Genre: Drama, Mystery & Suspense, Science Fiction & Fantasy

Directed By: Denis Villeneuve

Written By: Eric Heisserer

In Theatres: Nov 11, 2016, Wide

Box Office: $95,664,632.00

Runtime: 116 minutes

TOMATOMETER 94%

Average Rating: 8.4/10

Reviews Counted: 301

Fresh: 283

Rotten: 18

Critics Consensus: Arrival delivers a must-see experience for fans of thinking person's sci-fi that anchors its heady themes with genuinely affecting emotion and a terrific performance from Amy Adams.

AUDIENCE SCORE 83% liked it

Average Rating: 4.1/5

User Ratings: 61,643

What goes through your mind when giant seed pods begin landing all over the earth? ©Paramount Pictures

I've heard quite a few people reference 1997's Contact when they talk about this movie...

Okay, so I saw Arrival this past weekend a half hour after I watched The Great Wall, The Great Wall was a big-budget summer blockbuster action movie sort that you watch without using your brain. Lots of nice shots, cool action scenes and little substance to the story to confuse you. Arrival, on the other hand, is on the other side of the movie spectrum.

Arrival, based on a short story called "Story of Your Life" by Ted Chiang, which was then turned into working script by the director Denis Villeneuve is a thoughtful and thought-provoking film, and in that way, it is similar to 1997's Contact. The only other way that Arrival is similar to Contact is that throughout the movie you follow a female scientist. That's it. In Contact, which was directed by Robert Zemeckis and based on a story by Carl Sagan and Ann Druyan, Eleanor Arroway (Jodie Foster) is an astronomer very much involved with the search for alien intelligence, she wants to meet an alien. In Arrival, linguist Louise Banks (Amy Adams) isn't. She's invited to lead the team tasked with establishing contact with the aliens but the experience at first terrifies her.

What do you do when someone tells you that you need to talk to aliens? And fast. ©Paramount Pictures

Contact takes us through the experience of a first extra-terrestrial contact through the eyes of Eleanor Arroway as she battles the sceptics who try to dismiss her and her findings and then decide to not pick her for the first mission after they've completed the machine that she helped piece together, albeit with the help of a suspicious billionaire named S.R. Hadden (John Hurt). The movie deals with that first contact from several viewpoints, from Arroway's point of view whose enthusiasm after finding a possible alien civilisation and of the possibility of meeting them blinds her to the potential dangers it might present, from the government's point of view which of course is suspicious and wary of it and from the point of view of the public where some are willing to embrace it and some in outright fear of it. 

And that you have to do it dressed like a spaceman in a huge condom? ©Paramount Pictures

Arrival too tries to deal with some of the things that were put forth in Contact, how nations and governments around the world try to deal with the possibility of first-contact and in this case of the aliens literally dropping in, of how the public might deal with but it differs greatly with how our protagonists deals with it. Both movies show us a personal side of the main protagonist that colour how they deal with the situation they find themselves in but it comes at it from different ends. Where Contact feels a little melodramatic and sappy when Arroway finally gets to "meet" the aliens, what Banks discover's is entirely personal and somewhat bittersweet, yes there is more to what she discovers but best you watch it yourself, if you haven't yet that is. 

When you came to the party overdressed and the only way you can chat someone up is to dress casually. ©Paramount Pictures

Anyway, on to the likes.

• The story. Brilliant. As you watch it and you go through what's happening guided by Banks you're also given glimpses of what appears to be Banks memories but by the end, you realise that that's not what you were seeing at all. That revelation makes you think again about what all that she's gone through. 
• The cast. Amy Adams is amazing. Jeremy Renner provides a nice balance and counterpoint to Adam's character. Forest Whitaker is entertaining as Colonel Weber, I like that he isn't the overbearing military character but someone trying to find balance not only in the situation but also in how he deals with everyone. Enjoyed Michael Stuhlbarg's Agent Halpern too. Every main character in this film is level-headed and rational and it doesn't hurt the drama or storytelling at all. Most movies would require at least one character to be the one that pushes the others to provide drama and conflict but here there isn't one unless you count General Shang (Tzi Ma) but when you find out why he does it it doesn't appear to be an exaggerated response.
• The visuals. Beautifully shot. Every scene just lovely.
• The soundtrack. Amazing music. Amazing soundtrack.
• The science. Fascinating. 

What do you do when the hosts turns out to be gigantic pods with seven legs and have no faces? ©Paramount Pictures

I've seen Denis Villeneuve's Sicario (2015) that was a tense and gripping film from start to finish. An emotional ride as you follow Emily Blunt's character and her discovery of what is really going on. Arrival is just the same but more so. Because of it's subject matter you ask yourself even more questions, questions about not only what that first extra-terrestrial contact would be like but how we would deal with it, we question about what we understand as a language and we question would we do the same if we were given that same gift the Heptapods gave her after she truly understood their language, the gift that saved the world. 

I loved Arrival and am probably going to watch it again sometime in the future. I'm giving Arrival a 4.5 out of 5. It's just too good to pass up.

Here's the trailer if you haven't already seen it. 

MOVIE REVIEW: THE GREAT WALL (2017)

From IMDB:

When a mercenary warrior (Matt Damon) is imprisoned within the Great Wall, he discovers the mystery behind one of the greatest wonders of the world. As wave after wave of marauding beasts besieges the massive structure, his quest for fortune turns into a journey toward heroism as he joins a huge army of elite warriors to confront the unimaginable and seemingly unstoppable force. 

48 Metascore From metacritic.com

Reviews 56 user | 41 critic

From Rotten Tomatoes:

Starring global superstar Matt Damon and directed by one of the most breathtaking visual stylists of our time, Zhang Yimou (Hero, House of Flying Daggers), Legendary's The Great Wall tells the story of an elite force making a valiant stand for humanity on the world's most iconic structure. The first English-language production for Yimou is the largest film ever shot entirely in China. The Great Wall also stars Jing Tian, Pedro Pascal, Willem Dafoe and Andy Lau.

Rating: PG-13 (for sequences of fantasy action violence)

Genre: Action & Adventure, Drama, Mystery & Suspense

Directed By: Yimou Zhang

Written By: Carlo Bernard, Doug Miro, Tony Gilroy

In Theaters: Feb 17, 2017 Wide

Runtime: 104 minutes

Studio: Universal Pictures

TOMATOMETER 44%

Average Rating: 5.8/10

Reviews Counted: 9

Fresh: 4

Rotten: 5

Critics Consensus: No consensus yet.

WANT TO SEE 94% want to see

User Ratings: 8,672

Meet Pero and William. They've been riding across the desert for months only to end up at a wall. ©Universal Pictures

A movie that you wouldn't expect to see someone like Matt Damon in...

The Great Wall. From the very beginning of the film, much like that xXx: Return of Xander Cage movie, you know who is behind this film, who's paying for it. But unlike that movie, this movie actually has an impressive team behind it, in a way. Written by Max Brooks who wrote the book World War Z which was turned into a movie in 2013, Edward Zwick who produced movies like Legends of the Fall (1994) and The Last Samurai (2003) and directed movies like Glory (1989) and Blood Diamond (2006), and Marshall Herskovitz who also worked on the same films. It's directed by the acclaimed Zhang Yimou who directed The Flowers of War (2011), House of Flying Daggers (2004), Hero (2002) andRaise the Red Lantern (1991). So you're expecting something pretty amazing, right? Well, compared to xXx, yes you are. 

The man in black is the commander the others are the generals. The commander doesn't last long and guess which of the generals he chooses to take over his place. ©Universal Pictures

So if you've seen the trailer you know that this movie is about or takes place in China and more specifically the Great Wall of China. You also know that something monstrous is attacking said great wall and for whatever reason, a white man and his Spanish friend end up at said portion of the very long wall where the monsters are attacking. The white man named William Garin played by Matt Damon then decides to volunteer himself to help the Chinese army fight the attackers. His travel buddy Pero Tovar (Pedro Pascal) though has different ideas, he wants to do what they came to do which is look for something that the west has heard rumours of and wants very badly. He is aided by a man named Ballard (Willem Dafoe) who has been at the wall for 25 years for learning the existence of the thing that William and Pero have come looking for. 

As the film progresses you see William go through a change of heart and career, annoy his buddy Pero, gain the trust of Commander Lin Mei (Tian Jing) and her generals as well as Strategist Wang (Andy Lau), do amazing things with a bow and arrow and kill monsters whose origins and behaviour are pretty ridiculous. 

The movie says it takes place at the Great Wall but most of the time you're at this one section only. ©Universal Pictures

On to the likes.

• The story. It isn't that bad actually. It isn't original for sure but it isn't completely horrible, full of plotholes or peppered with bad dialogue. It's simple and straight forward.
• The cast. Overall not bad. If you like Matt Damon in the Bourne series you'll probably enjoy him here too. Same goes for Pedro Pascal whom most will remember as the dude that gets his eyes gouged out and then his head crushed in the Game of Thrones series. And of course Willem Dafoe, this is a minor role for him for sure but that doesn't mean he doesn't do a good job. And then there's the Asian cast of whom you'll have the pleasure of meeting two of them for most of the movie, Commander Lin Mei played by Tian Jing, an orphan girl who rises up the ranks and one day due to an unfortunate circumstance is given control of the Nameless Army and Strategist Wang played by Andy Lau, a kind of intelligence officer cum scientist for the Nameless Army. If you're a fan of Asian Cinema especially those coming out of Hong Kong then you know who Andy Lau is. Tian Jing on the other hand is a relatively new actress but she's shared the screen with Jackie Chan in Police Story: Lockdown (2013) and with Chow Yun-Fat in The Man from Macau (2014) and also Donnie Yen in Special ID (2013). 
• What you see on the screen. That's pretty good too. The costumes are colourful and elaborate. The sets look impressive and quite real. The effects look good. The army makes quite an impression. The action scenes were quite good too.

And this thing here is what the Great Wall was made to keep out. Yes, that's his eyes near his shoulder. But these are the soldiers, wait till you meet the queen and her armoured bodyguards. ©Universal Pictures

The not so likes.

• Well as mentioned before the story is not at all original maybe the only original thing is how the monsters, the Tao Tei came to be is and of course how they look. 
• Which brings me to the second thing that was a little ridiculous or maybe really ridiculous, the Tao Tei's origins and what the Chinese empire knows about them. It just sounds ridiculous and this is a ridiculous movie.
• Which brings me to another thing about the Tao Tei. They don't look horrible but seeing as how everything else around looks so good the Tao Tei sort of looks not as good. You get what I mean? Now as perfect as the other visual effects. 

This happens in the final battle. I'll let you figure out what happens. Or go watch the movie. ©Universal Pictures

Overall The Great Wall is a decent no-brainer action movie set in a familiar historical location with an unusual twist. The story has its good moments but it also has its silly ones too. If you know of Zhang Yimou and the movies he's done don't expect this one to be like those others, there are elements from them but overall this is closer to the Hollywood summer blockbusters than any of his elaborate period dramas or action films. Go and watch this with that mindset and you'll be okay. Go expecting something like House of the Flying Dagger or any of Matt Damon's other films and you may be a little disappointed. This is big-budget, colourful-action eye-candy more than anything else. I'm going to give this movie a decent 3 out of 5. 

Have a look at the trailer below. 

MOVIE REVIEW: xXx: Return of Xander Cage (2017)

From IMDB:

Extreme athlete turned government operative Xander Cage (Vin Diesel) comes out of self-imposed exile, thought to be long dead, and is set on a collision course with deadly alpha warrior Xiang (Donnie Yen) and his team in a race to recover a sinister and seemingly unstoppable weapon known as Pandora's Box. Recruiting an all-new group of thrill-seeking cohorts, Xander finds himself enmeshed in a deadly conspiracy that points to collusion at the highest levels of world governments. 

Reviews 22 user | 19 critic

Popularity 16 ( 17)

From Rotten Tomatoes:

The third explosive chapter of the blockbuster franchise that redefined the spy thriller finds extreme athlete turned government operative Xander Cage (Vin Diesel) coming out of self-imposed exile and on a collision course with deadly alpha warrior Xiang and his team in a race to recover a sinister and seemingly unstoppable weapon known as Pandora's Box. Recruiting an all-new group of thrill-seeking cohorts, Xander finds himself enmeshed in a deadly conspiracy that points to collusion at the highest levels of world governments. Packed with the series' signature deadpan wit and bad-ass attitude, "xXx: RETURN OF XANDER CAGE" will raise the bar on extreme action with some of the most mind-blowing stunts to ever be caught on film.

Rating: PG-13 (for extended sequences of gunplay and violent action, and for sexual material and language)

Genre: Action & Adventure, Drama

Directed By: D.J. Caruso

In Theatres: Jan 20, 2017 Wide

Runtime: 110 minutes

Studio: Paramount Pictures

WANT TO SEE 93% want to see

User Ratings: 14,969

This is Gibbons. He's sort of like the more casual and hip version of Nick Fury. He does another thing in this movie that Nick Fury does too. ©Paramount Pictures.

So apparently Xander Cage wasn't killed in the second movie... 

xXx started way back in 2002 with Vin Diesel playing Xander Cage or xXx, but I can't for the life of me remember whether I actually saw that movie or not. Then the sequel showed up in 2005 titled xXx: State of the Union, this time around Vin Diesel wasn't free since he was making The Pacifier so a new xXx was found to replace him and that man was named Darius Stone played by Ice Cube. Again I can't remember actually watching it. The takeaway here is that both movies left little to no impression on me for me to even recall whether I watched either or both movies at all. Very, very forgettable films. 

So why did two movies that didn't really make huge money at the box office and impressed only a handful of critics who put it in the so-bad-that-it's-sort-of-good category get a third instalment? And not only that but also got Vin Diesel to return as the titular character? I honestly don't know but made it did get. 

Anyway, as the title suggest Xander Cage is back. He wasn't killed off as mentioned in the second movie but has instead been chumming it up with the locals somewhere in Latin America. He's also been stealing cable for them as an act of rebellion against the rich, or something like that. While Cage is doing that the man who recruited him, Augustus Gibbons played by Samuel L. Jackson is busy trying to recruit professional footballer Neymar to join the xXx program when a satellite falls out of the sky and kills them both. The satellite, of course, didn't fall out of the sky by accident. 

So this scene apparently takes place on an island somewhere in the Philipines but you'd find a hard time spotting the locals. ©Paramount Pictures.

The little incident prompts someone from the government named Jane Marke (Toni Collette) to call a meeting of pretty important individuals in the intelligence industry for a meeting. The meeting gets crashed though by Xiang (Donnie Yen), Serena Unger (Deepika Padukone) and Hawk (Michael Bisping) who kill pretty much everyone there except for Marke and the CIA Director (Al Sapienza) and proceed to steal something called the Pandora Box which apparently was the device used to pull the satellite out of it's orbit to be turned into a missile to target a man eating in a Chinese Restaurant. The trio escapes literally unscathed and are met by their fourth member Talon (Tony Jaa) whose only contribution to the nights' event is to take down a man on a motorcycle holding a gun. Not too sure why there was only one man on a motorcycle with a gun at a meeting of obviously important people. Where in the world are their security details/teams? 

So now Marke has a problem, she's been attacked by a very professional and somewhat daredevil team and she has no idea who they are. So what does she do? She looks for Cage. Now how did she know he was alive? It would make sense that Cage would be trying to lay low and avoid being noticed by people like Marke. And how come Gibbons didn't know something like this was brewing? Why didn't he get even an inkling that someone was out for him? Also wouldn't Gibbons know that Cage was alive? 

So she's a sniper but here she's decided to hang herself under a coconut tree in full view of everyone while holding a very large sniper rifle. That's a real pro. ©Paramount Pictures.

Moving on. Marke tracks down Cage and tells him she needs him and that he'll get the government's full support. She even brings along an elite team of soldiers for him to lead. Cage makes fun of them, sneakily hooks all of them up the equipment package they've brought on the plane then opens the cargo bays and drops them out of the sky. Cage then tells Marke that he's got his own people and so we soon meet Adele Wolff (Ruby Rose) a sniper and weapons specialist who likes to shoot at hunters that are trying to kill animals, Nicks (Kris Wu) a wannabe DJ and Tennyson Torch (Rory McCann) a former stunt driver who now spends his time crashing cars into things and then taking a selfie with the wreck. Once Cage has gathered his team we meet the last person on the team who's also Marke's underling and that's Becky Clearidge (Nina Dobrev). 

So after Cage meets with Ainsley (Hermione Corfield) a woman under house arrest in London who has a team of beautiful young ladies who are apparently hackers, she can't do it herself because it would violate her house arrest terms, Cage discovers where Xiang and his team are hiding out. And so begins lots of fighting and shooting, some talk about who wants or should get the Pandora Box, a few folks switching sides, a dead CIA Director and the return of someone from the dead and someone from the past. 

See that girl with the glasses? She's supposed to be the teams tech support but she's also the comic relief. She's only good at one of them, guess which? ©Paramount Pictures.

Now for the likes.

Hmm... Let's see...

• The Story? Nope. Didn't like it. Too convoluted and full of plot holes. 
• The dialogue? Nope. Didn't like that either. Stilted and juvenile. Lots of one-liners that's probably meant to make the character sound cool. You'll notice that it's quite often paired with them trying to look cool saying it. Also, Tony Jaa hardly says anything. 
• The action? Hmmm... Nope. Not that either. The stunts either looked ridiculous or didn't make sense. I mean how likely is it that in the middle of an alley there's a conveniently placed ramp for you to use in order to ram into your opponent. The fight scenes were just as bad as well especially when you consider that not only is Donnie Yen in it but Tony Jaa too. These two guys not only appear in front of the camera but they have consulted for fight scenes behind the camera too. 
• The camera work? Hmm.. wasn't impressed with that either. The only people who'll watch this movie and think that the camera work is awesome would be the same people that think the Fast and Furious movies are the best action movies ever. In fact, compared to this I'd probably agree with them. 
• The music? Hmm... I read somewhere that the makers of this movie wanted the movie to be a big part of it. There definitely is music and you do notice it because it gets a little intrusive at times but it won't make you want it like how the Guardians of the Galaxy did with Starlord's Mixtape Vol. 1.
• The only good thing I can think of about this movie is that at the very least the cast is truly diverse. 
• The other good thing is that I found Toni Collette's constant eye rolling a reminder that I wasn't the only one who found this movie a steaming pile of poo. Maybe. 

The not so likes.

Uhhh... Look up there.  I could write more but I'm bored already. 

Oh, look! It's the Hound. Actually, go watch him as The Hound instead of whomever he plays in this one. ©Paramount Pictures.

So, yeah, I didn't like this movie. It was horrible. You know how some movies are so bad that it's good? Yeah, this isn't one of them. I honestly don't understand how this movie got made. How did they all look at the script and collectively agreed to do it as it is, even when you think about how some movie scripts get written and rewritten until they get one that works you'd still have to wonder how bad the other scripts were that they decided to settle on this one. All they had to do was live up to the previous films and yet somehow... Actually, I don't know or can't tell if this one is better or worse than the first two since I don't remember either of them. 

Anyway, if you're a fan of Vin Diesel I'd suggest you give this a miss, wait for Fast & Furious 8 or maybe even Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2, you may not see him in it but I can guarantee he'll be better there. If you're a fan of the fight masters Donnie Yen or Tony Jaa, well Rogue One is probably still playing somewhere and Tony Jaa's earlier films are much better. As for Kris Wu and Deepika Padukone, well this is their first big budget Hollywood film so I'm guessing they have that going for them. Samuel L. Jackson and Toni Collette, I guess they're doing it for a laugh and the cheque. 

If you value your money if you want a coherent and well-told story with exciting action and amazing fight scenes don't go watch this movie. If you don't care about any of those things and you're like 12 and think extreme sports and the X-Games are the most amazing things ever to be shown on TV then go right ahead. I'm giving this movie a 1 out of 5. 

Here, check out the trailer. 

I'D LIKE TO THANK KLIPS.MY AND UNITED INTERNATIONAL PICTURES MALAYSIA FOR THE EARLY PREMIERE PASSES! 

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